People in S. America always want to know if you have a girlfriend, (novia), and for how long. When I say 16 years, I get even more curiosity than in the states. Today I talked to a friend who has been married for a couple of months. When I asked him how the married life was treating him, he said “Its great; I should try it some time”.
I suppose I think of marriage kind of like cocaine: I know many people enjoy it; I know it destroys many people; I suspect I have experienced something similar in a lower dose. I know most people are hoping their marriage will be habit forming, There are probably other similarities, but it seems like I should move on to thinking about something else.
Oh, you! You are SO married. You just didn't take the vow. I always remember the vows that Nat & I wrote to each other--it keeps me grounded when perhaps I am frustrated or miffed at him. I looked at all of the traditional vows, I took out what I thought was outdated, like the "obey your husband" BS and made it something WE really could commit to and cherish as we get older. I put in other items I thought were important as well. I will email them to you if interested. It is my solemn oath to Nat.
ReplyDeleteI hate to be harsh, but actually deciding to marry the one you love takes a sober, mature thought. I think it was a pivotal and emotional moment in Nat's and my relationship--unforgettable. I knew before he knew, but once he knew, he grew as a man. I'm not saying that the piece of paper is the important thing, it is the fact that the choice was discussed and made by both parties to be together that is the important step. I think the vow was the next important step--it made it all real to take it in front of friends and family.
I think you are 90% there, like Gene Simmons. He's been happily NOT MARRIED for 20 some years with 2 grown kids. I think Murray and Gene Simmon's wife, Shannon, though happy as is would secretly be elated inside if they were proposed to and given a solid vow of commitment. It would be a way of honoring Murray and your union all these years. Believe me, there would be no better way to honor her and she to honor you.
~Rhonda Crutcher
Love the Blog! I told Nat we need a sabbatical in Europe for at least 6 months.
P.S. Regarding the "kids" post, when it's your own kids, they annoy, but they love and reflect your personality back to you, and that is the fun part of being a parent. I am constantly amazed when Croix acts like Nat or I see Vivien doing something I did as a kid, like coloring in the lines. It's all in the journey. As much as I miss my quiet singlehood at times, I revel in how fast they grow and how much I'VE grown as well.
There is truth in what you say. Murray is actually trying to repurpose a ring she got from her mom's estate as a commitment ring. Since I don't believe in jewelry, she wants me to have input on how the setting is redone so it can be "our" commitment ring.
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